Happy Birthday, Papa
Today would've been my grandpa's 77th birthday.
He passed away four years ago on Saturday.
I was reading my journal entry about the week we went through before my grandpa died. Here are some of my favorite parts:
The nurse, Bill, was asking the basic questions. He was asking my grandma because he didn't want my grandpa to talk too much. He did have three questions he had to ask my papa though.
Bill: Herman, are you afraid of your caregiver? [Talking about my grandma]
Papa: *Nods*
Me: *Laughs*
Bill: Has she ever touched you in places you didn't want to be touched, against you consent?
Papa: *Nods*
Bill: But you liked that, didn't you?
Papa: *Nods*
The doctor came in and told us that he wanted to do the surgery on his heart to remove the fluid from the sack that surrounds the heart. My grandpa told us, while we were still in Fallbrook, he thought he'd feel a lot better after that was done. They got him ready and were going to move him to the operating room to do their thing. I came in and...Me: *Holds his hand* I love you, papa.
Papa: *squeezes my hand* I love you too, tiger.
Me: I will see you soon, then grandma and I will take you home.
Papa: *nods* Be good.
Me: Of course.
This part made my burst into tears.
My grandpa turns 73. We had a little party in his room. They still had him sedated he never got to read his cards or see his candy and balloons. The card my grandma got for him made me cry. She wrote "Come home soon, I sure do miss you" and at the bottom it said "I love you forever and ever. Your babe, Liz"
It's so scary because my grandma is dealing with a lot of health issues right now. We are currently waiting for her to be healthy enough to go in for bypass surgery.
My grandma came out and said "I feel like I have to call Herman and let him know what's going on and tell him I'll be home soon"
Grandpa, if you happen to have internet access in Heaven, welcome to my Vox! Isn't it neat? I'm sorry about my language, but I'm an adult now - I'm allowed to curse. Yes, I know it's not very ladylike but I'm okay with that.
Anyway, how're things up there? You better be keeping an eye on grandma. I know you probably miss her tons, but I want her to hang out a little while longer, okay?
You know how they say that time heals? Welp, if that's true, I must be a slow healer. Saturday will mark four years since your departure and I burst into tears whenever I think about you being gone. I miss you, dude. I don't really know what else to say. I'm sure you know it all already. Yea, I know what you're thinking when it comes to my tattoos. "If God meant for us to look like Christmas trees, he would've made us that way!" Please tell God that I don't think he did a bad job, but my body was kind of plain and really pale - perfect canvas.
Did you happen to see all those delicious baked goods I've been making lately? I wish you were around to share them with. Chocolate just isn't the same without you.
You know, you've been popping into some of my dreams. If we wanted to go along with that crazy Sylvia Brown, she believes that when the deceased show up in dreams, that's their way of visiting you. So, have you been visiting me or does Sylvia need to be put on some meds? If you are visiting me, say hi next time. You're always so quiet.
It's really getting late. You probably think I'm crazy for being up at this hour, so I should go to sleep. Speaking of sleep, do you guys sleep in Heaven? That'd be weird if you didn't because you loved your naps. Oh well, happy 77th birthday, papa! I miss you so much and I love you. I hope I'm making you proud down here. Be good.
PS; I haven't been to the horse races since you passed. I've been thinking about going, though. Is that cool? It wouldn't offend you, would it? Visit me in my dreams and tell me what number to pick and I will bet on it the next time I go. Only like a $2 bet, though. I'm not made out of money, silly.
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Thanks.