Kitchen Talk

Regarding the bags of melted Reese's peanut butter chips -

Richard: What were you doing with these? Sitting on them?
Brie: No, it's just from being in my hot truck this afternoon.
Me: Nooo! You were totally cuddling with them, weren't you?
Richard: Yea, like using them as pillows.
Brie: Actually, my boobs started getting really sweaty, so I put them under my boobs to keep them cool.
Everyone: Oh. My. Gawwwwd! *laughter
Me: Wow, Brie.  That was beautiful.
Brie: I knew you'd like that one!

While doing dishes, Jason dropped a bunch of sheet pans in the water.  Of course, it splashed everywhere.

Me:  Way to go, Jason! Making a mess while the rest of us are trying to clean one up!
Jason: Did I get you wet?
Me:  Hah. Well. Ummmm...
Jason: NO! I was talking about right now. With the dish water.
Me: Oh. Oh! Yea, no. Only my shoe.

While trying to pop a lid on a pie:

Me: I can't get it to stay in.
Jason: Do you always have this problem?
Me:  No! Because I'm so good, it's usually getting it out that's the problem.

During clean up:

Richard: Someone needs to wipe down these tables.
Me: Someone needs to wipe down your mom!
Richard: Yea, they do! Actually, I'm sure a lot of people have wiped her down.
Me: What the hell?  Am I ever going to offend you by talking about your mom?
Richard: No. You'll probably have to talk about someone else.
Me: Okay, well.  Your daughter is a dingleberry!
Richard: Aw, man! Why you gotta talk about my daughter?

In other news, we had out bake sale tonight. Check it out!